


Full-Assed Handshake

by Junker



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 04:25:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12697329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junker/pseuds/Junker
Summary: Kaidan comes out of the shower horny and, even though Shepard doesn't want a part in the exchange, he helps Kaidan out. PWP!





	Full-Assed Handshake

**Author's Note:**

> A quick preorder commission for a friend! I've barely written this ship even though it's one of my favs!

“Hey Shepard.”

The words themselves were innocent. He looked away from the papers on his coffee table to see Kaidan, fresh out of his shower and in a towel. He offered Shepard a crooked smile, his warm brown eyes burrowing into him. Some speckles of water still sat on Kaidan’s broad shoulders. His nipples were hard from the cold.

“Can I help you with something?” Shepard asked, turning back to his paperwork. “You said you just wanted to use my shower.”

Kaidan walked in front of the coffee table to make sure he was in Shepard’s line of sight. “If you’re in the mood,” Kaidan’s voice trailed off.

Shepard rubbed the stubble of his face. “I’m not really, but I can help you out.”

“What?”

Shepard looked back to Kaidan’s face. He wasn’t teasing him; he just had too much on his mind to really get his dick up. “If you’re horny, I can get you off.”

“You mean, do I want a half-assed handjob while you’re doing paperwork? No thanks.”

Shepard laughed. “Come on. When have I ever half-assed anything?”

Kaidan looked sceptical with a frown and his brows slightly arched. Shepard patted the spot on the couch beside him. Kaidan let out a sigh of defeat - as if he had to be talked into a handjob from Shepard, half-assed or otherwise - and sat in the spot next to him. Shepard grabbed some lubricant stored efficiently under the coffee table and spread it across his hand. Shepard tilted Kaidan’s chin downwards to kiss him, but he hesitated just before their lips touched. Kaidan’s eyes watched him, just waiting. Shepard’s other hand traced up Kaidan’s thigh and pushed the towel aside. He brushed his lips against Kaidan’s and lightly touched the base of Kaidan’s shaft. Kaidan draped his arm across the back of the couch behind Shepard.

Against Kaidan’s lips, he asked, “What were you thinking about in the shower that got you so hard?”

Kaidan simply replied, “You.”

Shepard parted Kaidan’s lips with his own, nipping them before pulling away again. Kaidan’s mouth followed him, and Shepard’s hand encircled his shaft. Shepard asked, “Could you please be more specific?”

Kaidan hardly hid his frustration. With his brows knitted, he shook his head. “I don’t want to do all the work.”

Shepard smiled and said, “You should tell me. Maybe I’ll be able to help this fantasy come true.”

He kissed Kaidan deeper this time and started to slowly jerk him off. Kaidan kissed back in kind, spreading one of his legs so it hooked over Shepard’s. Shepard broke the kiss and traced his free hand down the center of Kaidan’s chest. He watched Kaidan’s body curl against his touch. Kaidan still didn’t speak. His eyes were half-closed and watched Shepard’s face. Shepard traced his lips down Kaidan’s neck and murmured, “Tell me.”

Kaidan bucked his hips into Shepard’s rhythm, but it was only when Kaidan spoke that Shepard started to jerk him off faster. Kaidan said, “I thought about you sneaking in the shower with me.”

“And what did I do?”

Kaidan shook his head and smiled with slightly parted lips. Shepard indulged him and increased his pace on Kaidan’s shaft. Kaidan exhaled, and Shepard’s thumb drew lazy circles around the head of his cock. Shepard touched Kaidan’s neck to lightly pull Kaidan against him as he kissed where his jaw and neck met. Shepard kissed up from there and repeated against his ear, “What did I do to you in the shower, Kaidan?”

Kaidan bit his lower lip and Shepard returned to kissing under his jaw. He jerked him off slower, hoping it would encourage Kaidan to talk. Kaidan squirmed in his touch. He said, “You fucked me.”

“Oh I did? It must not have been very good for you to be so horny still.”

Shepard jerked him off slightly faster, and Kaidan replied, “No, it was really good. You fucked me so hard my feet were off the ground. I had to grip the showerhead to keep myself upright.”

Shepard increased his pace. He loved seeing Kaidan like this, naked and squirming beside him while he himself was clothed and completely in control. He said against Kaidan’s ear, “With your legs spread like that, I bet I hit really deep.”

Kaidan just nodded, clenching his teeth. He moved his hips quickly against Shepard’s rhythm. Shepard spotted a small bead of come on the tip of his cock.

“Do you want to get fucked right now?” Shepard asked.

Again, Kaidan nodded.

“I could make you come right now,” Shepard said, kissing his neck. “I bet you’d shoot your load all over my paperwork.”

Kaidan shook his head. He tried to keep his voice steady as he said, “No - fuck me.”

Shepard jerked him off faster. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Christ,” Kaidan said. “Fuck me.”

Shepard drew his hand away from Kaidan’s cock and the pair rearranged themselves so Kaidan laid face-down across Shepard’s lap. Kaidan folded his arms under his head and Shepard gave him a pillow to support himself a bit better. His cock was up against Shepard’s leg. Shepard hoped it ached. 

Shepard squeezed lube between Kaidan’s ass cheeks. He pressed one finger into him as he grabbed a silk bag from under the coffee table. Kaidan moved against Shepard’s leg. Shepard continued fingering Kaidan’s ass while he tried to open the draw-string bag with one hand. He eventually drew out a large, purple dildo. It looked similar to a human dick, but with several bumps across the shaft to add a new sensation. Shepard drew his finger out of Kaidan’s ass to spread lubricant across the dildo.

Kaidan said, “Shepard, don’t tease me.”

Shepard almost asked him to be patient, but instead he pressed two fingers back into Kaidan’s ass and gently curled them inside of him. Kaidan let out a soft noise in pleasure. Shepard slightly drew his fingers out while spreading them apart. He pressed the head of the dildo’s cock into Kaidan’s ass between his fingers. Kaidan arched into Shepard’s dildo, and Shepard drew out his fingers as he pushed the dildo deeper into him. Kaidan let out a sharper noise, and Shepard pounded it into him harder.

Kaidan gripped the edge of the couch and moved his hips against Shepard’s leg. Shepard spread Kaidan’s leg so it hung off the side of the couch and pounded the dildo deeper into him. Kaidan groaned and squirmed. Shepard kept up the pace, gradually letting the dildo curve deeper and deeper into him. He kept his free hand on Kaidan’s thigh with his thumb digging into Kaidan’s ass and keeping him pinned against his leg.

“Did it feel as good as this?” Shepard asked, almost doubting Kaidan would find any words to reply.

Trying to hide that he was panting, Kaidan said, “Better than this,” as if he hadn’t spent the last few minutes groaning openly.

Shepard frowned and thrust the rest of the dildo into him until only the round base was outside of his ass. Kaidan clutched the armrest and groaned. Shepard held it there for a moment, twisting the dildo inside of him so the curve hit every part of him. Kaidan squirmed and clenched his teeth as his hips humped his leg. Shepard released Kaidan’s thigh to squeeze his testicles. Kaidan shuddered and panted.

Nearly pulled the dildo out of him, Shepard slammed it back into Kaidan in its entirety. He repeated the process faster, pumping the dildo so roughly into him that Kaidan’s hips moved with him. His cock continued rubbing up against Shepard’s leg. Kaidan begged, “Don’t stop,” as Shepard continued fondling his testicles.

Kaidan bucked into Shepard’s ruthless rhythm, and Shepard’s thumb pressed against the sweet spot behind his testicles. Kaidan’s requests were drowned out by his own groans. He released Kaidan’s testicles to trace his hand up Kaidan’s slick cock. Kaidan came across his hand and pants, and Shepard continued the rhythm until Kaidan finished. He rubbed Kaidan’s back as he carefully drew out the dildo. 

Kaidan panted and cursed. Shepard tried to figure out where to put the dildo since his coffee table was covered in papers. He held it awkwardly and asked, “Did I scratch that itch?”

Kaidan tried rolling over, but gave up and stayed face-down against Shepard. Kaidan said, “You better not expect me on the field tomorrow.”

Shepard laughed and kissed the back of Kaidan’s neck. “Okay, you can get the day off tomorrow.”

Kaidan let out a grumpy noise.

Shepard tsked and asked, “What’s wrong, babe?”

“I want to kiss you, but I don’t want to get up.”

Laughing, Shepard said, “I can help with that.”

Shepard lifted Kaidan slightly so he could get out from underneath him. One hand was covered in lube and carrying a dildo while the other had a good chunk of Kaidan’s orgasm on it. His pants, too, had a dark stain on them from his boyfriend. Shepard kneeled beside the couch to look at Kaidan. Red-cheeked, Kaidan sheepishly looked at him. “That was something else, Shepard.”

“I said I don’t half-ass anything.”

Kaidan cupped Shepard’s cheeks and drew him closer to kiss him. After a slow, drawn-out kiss, he gently kept his forehead pressed against Shepard’s and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “I won’t doubt you again,” Kaidan said.

Shepard smiled.

“Can I lay around here while you work?”

“Sure,” Shepard said. He stood up and away from Kaidan. Kaidan repositioned himself on his side to watch Shepard. Shepard continued, “But I’m going to take a shower first.”

Kaidan laughed. “You look like you need it.”

“Now if I come out of the shower horny like you,” his voice trailed off.

Offering Shepard a crooked smile, Kaidan said, “I’ll talk care of you.”

Shepard grinned. He leaned down and pecked Kaidan’s lips again.

**Author's Note:**

> who let me title this fic
> 
> • [Twitter](https://twitter.com/JunkerFics) • [Tumblr](https://junkerfics.tumblr.com/) • [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/community/Not%20a%20Main%20Character) • 


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